Be prepared: alcohol and your quit
by John R. Polito
Freedom teaches that we don't need to give up any part of our life when quitting except for our nicotine. The weekend has arrived again and with it the opportunity to have a few drinks and be with friends. How do you approach this most important encounter with alcohol, smokers and good times? What planning, if any, can you do? When is it safe to do so?
The odds of a brand new quit surviving the pub or bar scene while consuming large quantities of alcohol are not promising! Walking into an environment loaded with ashtrays, lighters and packs everywhere in a smoke and smoker filled room, while consuming a mind and sense altering substance during a temporary period of time that you were giving it your all not to smoke nicotine can be a tragic mistake, even fatal. Although alcohol has been found to play a role in half of all fatal vehicle collisions, its death toll in relation to the destruction of quits is even greater.
Many of you have already successfully navigated this situation while others have not. If you have, please share the important lessons you learned. Your words of wisdom might save both a quit and a life.
My advice is simple! Think it though, plan ahead, keep your guard up, and always remember that you can walk away. An early encounter with alcohol can involve multiple triggers. Keep in mind that it's possible to address them one at a time. Alcohol itself could be a habit trigger, being around other smokers another, having a good or bad time while drinking a third or possibly even a fourth, and having too much to drink a possible fifth. Then again, your anxiety attack triggering cue could be something as simple as ice cubes hitting a glass in a dark smoke filled environment. We've each developed some pretty unique feeding habits.
You can drink at home first without the other stuff, or going out for a good time in a smoke and smoker filled location without drinking. The planning possibilities are numerous. It may be possible to handle it all at once and put it behind you but baby steps may be a better approach for you. You know you better than anyone else! Listen to yourself and above all keep in mind that loving "delay" - just three minutes - is one of your best friends right now. This too is doable! Breathe deep, hug hard, live long!
John : )
DMarkGold 11
Thanks for this one John. I enjoy my beer and this was a big concern for me at first. Here is what I did:
First time of moderate drinking: Invited my non-smoking brother (the really annoying one that used to pester me about smoking) who also likes to inbibe, up to my abode...This way, I hit a bunch of triggers, had a built in support person, who didn't even need to say anything, since I remebered all the previous comments, in an environment that did not have cig's available at all.
Next: Short stop at the local pub for a quick beer or two (not too much). This too will hit a bunch of triggers, but you can always leave, since you are alone. If you go with someone else be sure that they realize that you may want to leave quickly...Don't drink too much, and don't stay longer than you think you can comfortable. This is a tricky mix, so don't try to be a hero this early. If you are a regular at a pub, go to that pub and tell the bar tender that you have quit smoking...Usually even if they smoke they will be supportive.
You can then work your way back to normal drinking/bar hoping over a matter of time. Also think of it this way...if you are spending less time at the pub, that is even more money that can be added to your $$$ saved line of your quit meter!
Be careful...I had a few too many last weekend and was very close to buming one from a smoking friend...I didn't, but it was a close thing...
Mark
9W4D22H 2718 not smoked $543 saved (not including all the pub trips)
OBob Gold
Couple of other suggestions.
- One Day At a Time is crucial with respect to going to the pub/bar/saloon/nightclub and indulging. As you say, John, the triggers can rack up pretty tall, and all at once. It can get a bit overwhelming. It's always helpful to be able to fall back on, "hey wait, it's just one night. All I have to do is make it through ONE NIGHT. When you're preparing (and DO prepare) keep reminding yourself. "I'm going to get through this one night." Worry about nothing else. Don't fall into the trap of thinking, when you get to the bar, "oh man, this is tough. How am I going to be able to do this for the rest of my life?!" Just one night. Each successive visit, it gets easier. Still, each time is a night unto itself, and it's the only one you have to worry about.
- An ex-smoking friend. Can be really helpful to have somebody with you who's been through it. Serves as a good morale booster, a support, and a reminder that this can be done.
- Don't fall into the jealousy trap. It's tempting to look at smokers, (particularly in a festive atmosphere), and imagine that they're really enjoying smoking, and that you're being left out. No. They're feeding an addiction that demands regular feedings. They don't have a choice in the matter. They're being forced by early-onset withdrawal to administer poison into their lungs. Most, when pressed, would admit to regretting ever starting. Several are eyeing you, and wondering if you'll pull it off. They're wondering if you'll succeed. Some are hoping you won't, because your success will make their own addiction that much more of an embarassment. Some are praying you do succeed, because in your success lies hope that they too can break the chains. None are considering themselves lucky to be actively addicted to a drug they know risks their very existence with each drag.
- It's not a tragedy if you have a rough night. In the grand scheme of things, one rough night isn't a big deal. A rough night is a night where you're forced to do damage to your body every 20 - 30 minutes. A rough night is recovering from surgery to remove your lung. A rough night is trying to settle your affairs with your attorney through a morphine daze. In the end, if you go into it with the attitude that, "under no circumstances will I smoke tonight", it's unlikely that you'll be bothered for more than a few minutes here or there. Still, even if the night doesn't go too smoothly, it's still a resounding success if you get home in posession of your freedom. A resounding success.
Kit Cat Gold
I guess I was more fortunate than others when it came time to drink and not smoke.
When I QUIT smoking I promised myself that I was not going to let the matter of "smoke" still run my life after I QUIT (I'm pretty stubborn) , so when we went to the bar and I noticed others smoking, I basically told myself that they may be smokers, but that I was not!
I'M in control now not the cigarette.
If I do get that craving I give myself a pep talk (in my head, so no one else hears me!) that I made the choice to socialize and not smoke. For me it's been a mind over matter and believe it or not, even when I'm drunk! This won't work for everyone, but it has for me.
YQS
Catherine
"I'd rather be an ex-smoker who has an occasional thought about smoking than a smoker obsessing about quitting." I have not smoked for 2 Months 3 Weeks 6 Days 9 Hours 37 Minutes 35 Seconds. I'M NEVER TAKING ANOTHER PUFF!
Puh Bronze
Big Party down here in New Orleans. Not for me however. I do not think that I would be ready to go out to the bar with friends have a few and be able to keep what I have been working so very hard at. I will keep it quiet, 2 Hefe Weizen that is the limit and no going out to the bars at all.
Ulrike
IrishLotus GOLD
I am a girl who enjoys her drink, and who socializes with friends and family in many different environments which include alcohol. I made the decision to quit smoking and took my last puff last Friday morning. That of course immediately set me up for two nights of alcohol filled revelry with no cigarettes....on the first two nights of my quit. I could have stayed in bed and avoided as many triggers as possible but instead I was determined to attack my alcohol related triggers head on (not recommended for all newbies, certainly) because I wanted to test my resolve as soon as possible... alcohol related triggers being the most anxiety producing for me. Also, to tell you the truth, I was feeling quite invincible with my decision to STAY QUIT and I felt I was up for a challenge.....SOOOOO, what was my game plan?
First of all, it is extremely important that everyone you are out with knows that you have QUIT SMOKING. Not that it wouldn't have been obvious what with my constant rubber band snapping, but friends who are used to seeing you smoke WILL offer you a cigarette out of sheer "courtesy" if they see you are the only one without a butt in the bar so it is VERY IMPORTANT to keep everyone informed.
The build up to the bar scene was the worst part. Not only was I visting a bar, but I was visiting my boyfriend's local pub, the one he has been to ever since he hit 21, filled with all of his friends that, this early in our relationship, I still had yet to meet. This was a good and bad situation, I suppose, because I felt a bit more anxiety related to meeting new people, yet these people did not know me as a smoker so I was kind of starting off with a fresh slate, you know? Anyway, the other good thing was the "challenge" my boyfriend inadvertently presented to me right before we got into the bar. "If you make it through tonight without a cigarette, I will be shocked" he told me, right as he swung open the doors and revealed the smoke-filled bar for the first time. I took a deep breath of the clean outside air and stepped over the threshold.
I sat at the bar and thought....hmmmmmm, this isn't so bad, I can do this. I started sipping my first drink. The bartender came over and began flirting with my boyfriend (apparently she is married but still enjoys flirting with him). I bit down on my lip and started to feel a crave come up from my toes. It seemed as if each person around the bar lit up, one by one, the guy next to me smoking my brand. The bartender lit my boyfriend's cigarette for him. He turned and smiled at me and said in a challenging way, "you're never gonna make it." Of course, he knows me well enough that he is aware that such a statement will only strengthen my resolve...especially when it means I can prove him wrong. I sat and sipped my beer and looked at all of the slaves to nicotine puffing in around me. I didn't feel as if I needed or even wanted a cigarette, I just began to feel this overwhelmingly strong feeling of not belonging. I couldn't take it anymore, I excused myself and went to the ladies and just sobbed and sobbed.
After catching my breath, and splashing some cold water on my face, I returned to the bar and felt an overwhelming sense of relief....Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (MUCH better than any inhale off a sickarette)....I knew at that point, I DID IT! Just one crave at a time. After that, the night was a piece of cake because I felt as if I had defeated, for the first time, the nicodemon that lurks in bars and taverns and in every sip of alcohol I will ever take for the rest of my life. If I could do it once, I could do it again, and again, and again, one puff at a time. The final piece of advice I would offer to anyone taking on this trigger for the first time, would be to make sure you have a good friend who will be able to watch you (the designated driver or an ex-smoker would be helpful), should you have one too many, who will be able to help you defend your quit no matter what.
Or better yet, don't get so drunk that you won't be able to defend your quit yourself.
Well, that's my way of tackling the tavern trigger. I hope it was helpful to some of you. Thanks again for all of the constant support and encouragement. You have helped me to continue my vigilant march towards FREEDOM, one step at a time.
I have chosen to be nicotine free for 5 Days 1 Minute 18 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 150. Money saved: $37.51.
OBob Gold
Wrote this to a member a while back...
This was certainly a challenge for me the first few times at the pub. And, I dealt with it on those occassions by preparing for it BEFORE I got the pints on the table. Before I went out, I reaffirmed my commitment that, at least on THAT night, I wouldn't smoke. It's a tricky business, but I found that if I made the commitment, and repeated it over and over to myself while SOBER, it was easier to stick to it when I got soused.
I think the reason it helps, is that you can formulate some mantras while sober that can carry you through a situation later in the night when you're not. You have your reasoning powers when you're sober, and you can give yourself a 1...2...3... list that you can use later on. However, once you've tipped a few back, you no longer have those reasoning powers. If you haven't given them to yourself ahead of time, you may find yourself FACE TO FACE with Nic, with NO defenses prepared, and he's armed to the teeth, having waited to find you in just such a defenseless state.
I've even brought things I've written down to help me through the event. In fact, I remember when Tess (my wife) went out for one of her first nic-free trips to the pub, she printed out something particularly inspirational from one of the members here (Hal), and carried it with her. She promised herself that if she got tempted, she would take a break, head for the jax (, and read it before making her decision on whether or not to smoke. It got her through a tough night.
Again though, the key point is that she went into the night with a SIMPLE plan. I think the SIMPLICITY is key, because we tend to **** complex things up when we're in the horrors. You formulate the plan while sober, you write it out (or print it out) if you think it'll help, you promise yourself you'll make it through JUST THAT NIGHT without toking, and you also promise yourself that you'll NEVER just simply reach for the ciggie, or buy the Drum without first giving yourself a coupla minutes to review your plan.
Remember....
Celebrate the New Year tonight.
Celebrate your freedom in the morning.
Richard - This Is It - Gold
Off to Vegas again tonight.... (double birthday celebration)... and won't be around for a few days.
While sorting out some clothes to take, guess what.... out falls a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from an old jacket. Absolutely ZERO trigger at all as they were calmly dispatched to the bin...... that's what I call Freedom
Have a good weekend all.... and remember.... don't puff.... there is no need....
Comic Forces Gold
Just figured I'd post a portion of my "two week mark" post here - in case this insight will help any other "newbies" like myself
During a previous quit of mine (a few years back, before I ever knew about Freedom - a 6 month failed quit, while out drinking (I have also said before that I am a social drinker - just so happens my circle of friends likes to congregate in bars and parties, etc) I used to sit and be miserable about the fact that I couldn't have a smoke. I never felt FREE, I just felt obsessive the whole time. I have been in 2 different bar situations since my quit…. And neither time was it as hard for me as it was even at 5 months in my previous quit. This is because I felt I was making a choice - a good choice. I was more present…and everyone around me was smoking, both times.
I have developed sort of a new perspective on other smokers. I guess I used to have that jealousy thing going on. (I mean, it still creeps up as I am only at 2 weeks…). But now I tend to look at these people thinking that if they are not already disgusted with their "habit" (we here know it's an addiction but I called it a habit right there because that's what they THINK it is), they will be soon enough.. And instead of me looking at them with jealousy, I think that THEY may be (or will EVENTUALLY be) looking at ME with jealousy. They will admire my strength…and when they see me having a truly good time, and being truly present, WITHOUT smoking, they will admire me, and hopefully see me as an inspiration. I do not have to tell these people to look at me that way, or discuss my quit. If they are true addicts and even remotely acknowledging the fact that smoking is a problem for them, they will admire me for what I am doing, and they will long for the freedom I have - or at least am beginning to have (and will eventually really will have as completely as possible).
hol235
Awesome thread, I have to comment: This was one of my biggest fears when I quit, I thought, "How in the WORLD am I ever going be able to go out again???!!!" You see, I was and am a "party-type"...heck, I plan parties/events for a living pretty much and am always out and about. I always associated going out and good times, with smokes. So as you can imagine, I was petrified! Then I thought about it...I knew I wanted to quit, I was done, I had my "come-to-Jesus moment" and nothing was going to make me EVER take another puff.
Soooo...the game was on, it was me versus the cigarette, and I'm competitive person and wasn't about to let that ugly litter sucka win. So 3 days into my quit, I was meeting with colleagues at a bar to discuss a trade show (several of them are smokers) we had beers, they smoked, I didn't. That was the toughest thing I ever did, especially after 6 beers. But I didn't break. And woke up the next moring with a feeling of "proud" I've never felt before. Also, I didn't have the "smoke-over".
I continued to go out to happy hours and different bars and dinner parties and still do. I REFUSE to let this addiciton keep me away from going places and doing things I like. Some times are harder than others, but all in all, I've made myself very proud. I make a decision each and every day, that I will NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF! It's a daily battle and daily decision. And that's that.....but everyone is different and that's just my story and my way of coping.
I will admit that smokey bars are not ideal and I pick and choose where I go now more selectively. The smoke really gets to me now and I hate going home smelling like a cigarette, yuck!
I will be GREEN tomorrow, hooray! And in those 30 day's I've been in about 10 different alcohol/bar situitations. Some easier than others, but never-the-less I survived and made the decison I wasn't going to let the cigarette win. I would imagine how bad I felt after just a dream that I smoked, so I do not want to feel that way, it's awful. Not only that, I looked at it like, if I can make it thru that, I can do anything b/c that's generally when I smoked, I was a VERY social smoker.
Anyway, that's my story and felt compelled to share. Best of luck to all of you in your quits and to the lurkers, you can do it, find FREEDOM, it's so sweet!
Judi - ALMOST GREEN!
I have been nicotine free for 4 Weeks, 1 Day, 18 hours, 26 minutes and 25 seconds (29 days). I have saved $47.62 by not smoking 238 cigarettes. I have saved 19 hours and 50 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 01/04/2006 10:00 PM
JoeJ Free Gold
Judi, I very much enjoyed your very good, honest, straight-forward sharing of your experience. Very insightful. We each must determine what our level of control is and can be.
My experience has been very similar. I set out to get rid of something I did not want in my life any longer - Tobacco Cigarettes. I found it easier still when I realized it was nicotine I was getting rid of - the cigarettes were the delivery vehicle and the tobacco was the medium.
Try replacing the word "cigarette" with nicotine & Another slant on how to watch people smoke were two quit builder articles for me early on that allowed me to see what those 'smokers' were really doing and why drinking alcohol makes consumption of those nicotine delivery devices rise when alcohol in introduced into our blood serum chemistry.
In my view, it seems when you break addiction down to its barest basics, we win through controlling our personal blood serum chemistry and using our mind's power to clearly see that living nicotine clean is the way were were designed to be. It is Knowledge that gives us the Power to arrest our addictive behaviors. We use knowledge and self-determination to exercise our Freedom of Choice. We each have the power within us to turn information into action and live as we were meant to be, nicotine free.
JoeJ Free - NicotineFree and Living as I was meant to be for One Year, Twenty Four Days, 7 Hours and 42 Minutes, while reclaiming 33 Days and 19 Hours, by choosing not to use 9733 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $1,953.36 NTAP!
Nancy 999
Next to dealing with my quit and morning coffee- this was my number 2 danger trigger. The morning coffee has been bearable, at first simply because there are no ciggys available to smoke. Having a drink at home is the same- much easier when they are not at hand! A bar, club or pub is quite different. Here are some of the things that have helped me thru my first few times out:
- Have a nice talk with yourself BEFORE you go out to reinforce your strength (reread whatever you consider to be your most motivational threads, link or info). Tell yourself that if you're going to get drunk, it will NOT affect your resolve in your quit. I wrote down the names of those that lost their battle with nictoine and kept them in my pocket.
- Tell everyone you're with and everyone you meet that you just quit and how PROUD you are of yourself. I find most people I know will support a quitter and won't let you bum one.
- Keep your reasons for quitting with you. If you feel weak, go to the bathroom, read the list then look yourself in the mirror (as you're washing your hands).
- Try volunteering to be the designated driver. It fits in perfectly to practice your quit in a bar once or twice, and your friends will love it!
- To thine own self be true. If you know it's going to be unbearable, then simply don't go. You won't die if you stay away from the bar for a few weeks.
- Also, just not drinking for a night or so works too. I have to admit, I rasied some eyebrows when I ordered an iced tea (no, not a long island) for the first few weeks. Even impressed them more!
- If you feel yourself weakening - go to the restroom and look yourself in the mirror OR go outside for some fresh air! FEEL how good fresh air feels.
- Don't dwell on the smokers, observe the NON smokers. Take their lead - not smoking and having a good time. They can do it, so can you!
- Here's one that may not make you popular, but it worked for me. Talk and talk and talk about the facts, whyquit, etc.
Well, I hope one of these help one of you partiers out there. What helps me the most is my dedication to NTAP - these are a close second.
Danielle
I went out last night and had a few drinks with a friend who smokes. I have to say that since they have changed the law here (no-smoking inside) it sure made it easier not to fixate on wanting a nic fix when there isn't anyone around smoking. So all in all I made it through the night with out wanting one...Danielle
I have been quit for 1 Week, 2 Days, 20 hours, 23 minutes and 38 seconds (9 days). I have saved $35.45 by not smoking 147 cigarettes. I have saved 12 hours and 15 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 9/6/2006 10:15 PM
elfarsto
Good article. I've been free for 15 days and I haven't braved a single drink yet. It is probably my greatest fear because alcohol has ruined 100% of my past quits. I can recall at least 6 drunken smokes that ended quits ranging from between 2 weeks and 12 months. I've considered quitting drinking altogether, but I don't want to tie smoking to drinking in my mind so that I automatically pick up one when I pick up the other.
When I feel ready to drink again, I'm going to give it a few practice runs at home away from the temptations that a bar brings with it. I've never been more determined to NTAP and when it comes down to it that is the most important thing!
Evie
Alcohol and nicotine used to be one of my favorite combinations and drinking and smoking at bars was a common pastime. One easier part of my quit is the fact that smoking is no longer allowed in bars here in Washington state. One must go outside and it is cold and wet this time of year. Walking "through the smokers" into a smokefree bar used to be somewhat painful but now has become a pleasure. Making smoking unallowed/illegal in most public places has been one of my incentives to quit and to stay quit. Smoke none, drink less, live longer!!!
Tracy
I had not smoked for around 9 months and on Valentine's Day I drank WAY too much and on the way home, at about 2am, I decided I needed to smoke. I also thought in my inebriated state that the nicotine wouldn't effect me. I would probably wake up and not even remember that I had smoked the night before.
Five years later...here I am quitting again.
So I read this post and I understand. I knew that I couldn't just have one cigarette. If I had been sober I would never have made such a ridiculous decision to reintroduce nicotine in my system.
So if you do decide to drink just make sure you have armed yourself with knowledge and maybe moderate the amount you consume. That is what I have chosen. I keep it to 2 and I know that I will never have drank so much that it will change my decision making capabilities.
Tracy - Free and Healing for Twenty Eight Days, 19 Hours and 10 Minutes.
It isn't always easy, but it is always simple.
Never take another puff or dip!
Patticake (Gold)
I've never been a heavy drinker, just an occasional glass of wine or a beer now and then. Shortly after I quit and shortly after becoming a member of Freedom I went to a birthday party at a club. I became snockered but by gosh I didn't smoke. There were people all around me puffing away but I'd just drink some more and hang in there. I kept pretending that I was on a hidden camera and all my friends at Freedom were watching me.
I learned real quick that I couldn't handle the combination of alcohol and nicotine at that time in my quit so I put the alcohol on the back burner until I got a little more time behind me. In the past when I drank it seemed I smoked more so the two became another personal vice.
EtherBunny73
How timely for me!
I had a few cocktails last night. I waited until I was 2 weeks into my quit because I was afraid of having diminished inhibitions and judgment early in my quit. I was also worried that smoking and drinking might be a package deal in my head.
I was worried but I kept saying to myself "Don't worry, you're just learning how to do this without smoking... Look at all the stuff that you learned to do these last few weeks - this is going to be okay too."
To my surprise, it wasn't a problem. I got that warm, fuzzy cocktail feeling without covering myself with a gross yellow film. I was nice to wake up this morning without tightness in my chest from chain smoking while drinking.
Related Reading
- Alcohol and quitting smoking - Joel's Stop Smoking Videos Joel
- Can people quit smoking and still drink alcohol? Joel
- Early alcohol use risky John
- Co-dependency: nicotine and alcohol John
- "I can't drink alcohol without using nicotine" John
Knowledge is a Quitting Method
