"Why am I still craving?" "When will comfort come?" "How long will it take before I stop thinking about wanting to vape?"
We often see members at Turkeyville who are a month or two into recovery and growing impatient. Once off and running, it's important to remember that recovery is a journey, not an event.
Once beyond the first week, the challenges are becoming fewer, shorter in duration, and generally less intense. But after a few weeks, improvement gets harder and harder to see.
Some endure substantial self-inflicted anxiety by an intense focus upon concerns about when it will all be over, finished, and done.
Chapter 13 is entitled Homecoming. It's the chapter's primary goal to soothe such concerns. Here, the goal is to minimize the need for Chapter 13.
First, as detailed in Chapter 11 (Subconscious Recovery) and Chapter 12 (Conscious Recovery), challenge reflects healing and is good, not bad.
If related to subconscious conditioning, you're concerned about extinguishing your remaining use cues, about an end to the crave episodes they trigger.
What I hope you'll see is that each episode is a reward announcement. You're about to be awarded the return of a time, place, person, location, activity, or emotion during which you'd conditioned your mind to expect a new supply of nicotine.
As for conscious fixation, see its value. It's pointing to specific junkie thinking.
When you find yourself consciously fixated upon thoughts of wanting to use, it's a golden opportunity to use honesty to correct the tease of the specific use justification that's then and there bantering about inside your mind.
The sooner we're able to realize that the tease flowing from old use memories was created by an addict in need, the sooner it hits us that we're no longer that person.
As with ending any long and intense relationship, fixation is an opportunity to reflect, let go, and move on.
Back to the question of "how long" must we must stay composed, restrained, and diligent before the arrival of calm, quiet, and easy.
While the hundreds of Chapter 13 testimonials show significant variation -- as every person and recovery is different -- I like to think in terms of the time needed to heal a broken bone.
While some are able to quickly let go and put their relationship with nicotine behind them, others will insist on clinging to varying use rationalizations for months. Some even longer.
Still, eventually, the result is the same for all. Patience, time, and new nicotine-free memories transport us here to "Easy Street," where we begin experiencing entire days without once thinking about wanting to use.
Once here, occasional thoughts of wanting to use will gradually become so infrequent, brief, and mild that they almost become laughable.
When it happens, it may begin to feel like our "one challenge" and "day at a time" recovery philosophy has outlived its usefulness. But Joel cautions us not to abandon it.
He warns that, like never-users, ex-users experience horrible days too. Also, negative memory suppression (both of the daily grind of life as an actively feeding addict and the challenges of withdrawal and recovery) will foster a growing sense of complacency.
If allowed, it can leave us feeling and dealing with temptation in social situations. We will each someday experience tremendous stress at home or work, and we will each have loved ones who will eventually die.
The next few minutes are all within your immediate control and each is entirely do-able. The decisions, if any, made during those minutes are yours to command.
Strive to find contentment in today's freedom and healing. Celebrate at last being free.
It took years to walk this deeply into dependency's forest. Is it realistic to think that we can walk out overnight? Patience. You'll soon be doing easy-time.
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