Bargaining & Depression

Bargaining

Chapter 4 reviewed common use rationalizations employed by the still feeding addict in an attempt to justify that next fix. Using many of the same rationalizations, here bargaining's primary hope is more about continuing this journey home while also visiting with nicotine now and then.

Instead of grief simply accepting an end to nicotine use, dependency ignorance toys with breaking free while remaining great friends.

Bargaining can be with our particular nicotine delivery device, another form of delivery, ourselves, loved ones or even our higher power. Its aim is the impossible feat of letting go, without letting go. If allowed, the emotional conflict of wanting to say "hello" while saying "goodbye" can easily culminate in relapse.

"Just one" or "just once" thinking can evolve into "this is just too hard," "too long," "things are getting worse, not better," "this just isn't the right time to stop!"

Although a significant portion of this book is about bargaining, if allowed, this book itself can and will provide an abundance of fuel for the bargaining mind.

For example, every user and every recovery are different. Sharing "averages" and "norms" where the primary focus is upon the most common form of delivery (smoke) will naturally generate tons of ammunition for those whose dependency or recovery traits are not "average" or don't involve smoke.

Key to navigating conflicted feelings is to demand honesty, while keeping our primary recovery motivations vibrant, strong and on our mind's center-stage. The wind beneath our wings, allowing freedom's desire to die invites destructive and intellectually dishonest deals to be made.

Instead of buying into relapse, remember, it's impossible to fail so long as 100% of the planet's nicotine remains on the outside. But what happens inside the grieving and bargaining mind once it realizes that brain dopamine pathway design makes it impossible to arrest our dependency while letting it run free?

Depression

Please refer to Chapter 9 for a detailed discussion of depression. While a period of sadness and depression is normal and expected when ending any long and intense relationship, even a chemical one, don't hesitate to get seen and evaluated if at all concerned about ongoing depression.

If already taking medication for depression, keep in mind that your prescription may need adjustment. And do remain alert as nicotine can mask hidden underlying depression. It's why getting seen is important if your period of sadness isn't both brief and mild.

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