Born of our fears, recovery rationalizations attempt to explain why we couldn't stop, why now isn't the right time or the importance of using. The result was always the same, to delay or prevent cessation.
The following recovery rationalizations were reviewed in Chapter 4. See the common thread?
- "Nicotine is my stressbuster"
- "I'd gain weight and that's just as dangerous"
- "I do it for pleasure"
- "I like it." "I love it."
- "I do it for the flavor and taste"
- "My coffee won't taste the same"
- "I can't drink alcohol without using nicotine"
- "I'll lose my friends"
- "I use to relieve boredom"
- "I'm fighting monsters and demons"
- "I can't stop"
Let's look at additional excuses for avoiding recovery.
- "How can I stop? I live with a smoker."
Half of all smokers have stopped smoking, including millions and millions who lived with smokers. Still, it's normal to be concerned about triggers and temptation associated with those closest to us smoking, vaping, dipping, chewing, or engaging in some other form of delivery. The answer? Lovingly ask them for their support.
Respectfully ask that they not use nicotine products in your home or presence. Also ask that they not leave their nicotine use paraphernalia lying around the house, as you're serious about breaking nicotine's grip upon your life, and if found lying around you'll destroy it.
You may upset them. But giving fair warning shouts just how serious you are. If you should destroy their cigs, e-cigs, or other products, you may want to consider offering the money to replace them, at least the first time.
If a smoker innocently offers you a cigarette, let them know that you've stopped and simply decline it. If they offer while knowing that you've stopped, accept the cigarette and then break it in front of them. It's unlikely that they'll offer again.
- "Vaping is easier than not vaping." "Smoking is easier than not smoking."
As Joel teaches, this is true. It's easier. As actively feeding addicts, we didn't have to make as many decisions. Our addiction was making lots of them for us. It determined who we were most comfortable with, who was comfortable around us, and how long we'd get to stay. Ex-users make all the decisions and one is bigger than the others, the decision to to make and stick to a personal commitment to never take another puff.
- "I'm self-destructive." "You have to die of something."
While some users do have emotional problems, such junkie-thinking is more often a reflection of fears associated with withdrawal, the time needed for recovery, fears of being unable to cope without using, or flowing from a history of relapse. Although not uncommon to hear such comments, nearly all of us are shocked when eventually diagnosed with a use-related disease.
- "If I stop, I won't be able to begin my day”
Having slept through 3 to 4 nicotine half-lives (2 hours each), for many of us, that first puff each morning occurred within minutes of waking. It had to. While normal to fear losing the key to starting each day, normal people don't wake-up in early withdrawal. Within 3 days, withdrawal will peak and begin to decline. After that, you may gradually find yourself sleeping longer, deeper and waking more relaxed, refreshed, proud, and ready to begin your day.
- "If I stop, I won't be as productive."
Smoke-breaks conditioned us to believe that our work or creativity will suffer if use ends. The opposite is true. Fewer distractions and interruptions will increase accuracy, with projects being completed sooner.
- "I'll stop after the next pack, next carton, next month, my next birthday, or New Years' day."
I hate to think about how many times I lied to myself with such nonsense. And then there's the next level of delay where we ask, which pack, carton, month or birthday offers me the best chance of success?
Why did I limit myself to always purchasing only a one-day's supply? Because tomorrow was always the day I'd stop and I couldn't stomach throwing extra packs away.
- "I'll stop next week."
For some of us, it was always next week, next month, or next year. Others go so far as to actually set a date. Doing so always made today's use more tolerable, as we pretended that our problem would soon be solved.
- "I'm waiting on a painless cure."
Don't hold your breath. The day science can make our mother's death painless -- so as to avoid any emotional loss -- is the day it'll be capable of erasing the emotional loss associated with ending the most dependable chemical relationship we've likely ever known.
- "I can't afford to stop."
This addict pretends that recovery is too expensive, that they would need to purchase expensive magic pills or pay to attend a program. Truth is, the vast majority who succeed in breaking free don't spend a dime. Cold turkey is free. Even so, sleep on the honesty and logic of having money to purchase nicotine, yet pretending we'd have less money if we stopped buying.
- "The 3rd generation vaccine is coming!"
NRT, Zyban, Chantix or Champix, and failure of two generations of vaccines, nicotine addicts have been teased for decades with promises that new magic cures would soon arrive.
Most recently, the promise was that four to five vaccine shots over six months would cause the body's immune system to create large antibodies, that would quickly bond with nicotine molecules, making them too large to cross through the blood-brain protective filtering barrier and stimulate dopamine pathways.
It was wishful thinking. It didn't work. Vaccine users found ways to relapse even with all those expensive injections and antibodies everywhere.[1]
Wall Street Journal headlines declared in June 2012 that "Vaccine Shows Promise for Nicotine Addiction."[2] Instead of injecting antibodies, the new vaccine tricks the liver into constantly producing them, at least in mice.
And as the WSJ article notes, therein lies the problem, "making the leap from [mice] to people will be a challenge. Other recent attempts failed to prove effective in people after initially encouraging animal studies."
- "My family can't handle recovery."
Blame transference seeks to place the cause for defeat upon others. It's easy to intentionally exaggerate withdrawal via anger or other antics, to the point of making life a living hell for friends, loved ones, or co-workers.
Transference can blame relapse on a lack of support, a relationship, stressful times, financial hardship, other smokers, alcohol, or even our job.
- "I won't be able to stop unless someone stops with me."
Many pretend that they can't succeed because their husband, wife, or friend won't stop too. This procrastination brick allows use to continue until someone else takes action. What if they never stop?
Sadly, millions ride this waiting rationalization all the way to an early grave. It's nice when friends or loved ones make this journey with us. But if not happening, someone needs to be brave and go first. Then, it's simply a matter of being patient and teaching by example, allowing them to observe freedom's full glory.
- "Mom just died. Now just isn't the time."
Smoking won't bring back mom or dad, nor cure any other ill in life. As Joel teaches, success during a period of high stress ensures that future high-stress situations won't serve as justification for relapse.
- "I'd stop but withdrawal never ends!"
Hogwash! Why not disprove this one by living the truth? Give it a go!
- "If I stop, I'll just start back again. I always do."
Truth is, we don't have to relapse. Relapse occurs because we fail to respect the Law of Addiction. We violate the Law because we allow ourselves to forget why we stopped or invent some lame excuse such as those above.
In fact, this recovery is absolutely guaranteed to be our last ever, so long as nicotine never again finds its way into our bloodstream, so long as we continue to live on the right side of the "Law."
References:
2. Winslow, Ron, Vaccine Shows Promise for Nicotine Addiction, Wall Street Journal, June 27, 2012.
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