The second complacency factor working against us is a strong, natural desire to want to believe that we've been fully cured, that we can now handle "just one" or "just once."
But just one puff, dip or chew and "do not pass go, do not collect $200." Go directly to the addict's prison and surrender your freedom.
It isn't that we don't believe the Law of Addiction. It's probably more a matter of growing to believe that we're the exception to it. We convince ourselves that we're stronger, smarter, or wiser than all addicts who came before us.
We amend the law. We put ourselves above it. "Just once, it'll be ok, I can handle it." "I'm stronger than them." "A little reward, it's been a while, I've earned it."
Such thoughts infect the mind and feed upon themselves. Unless interrupted by reason and truth, our period of healing and freedom may be nearing an end. If allowed to fester, all our dreams and hard work risk being flushed like a toilet.
Instead of pretending we can handle" just one," such encounters demand truth. Before reaching the point of throwing it all away we need to be honest about what's about to happen. If this moment should ever arrive, try telling yourself this before bringing nicotine back into your body:
"My freedom will now end!" "I'm going back." "I can handle all of them, give them all back to me, my entire addiction, all the trips to the store, the buys, the money, and the empties." "I want it all back." "Go ahead, slowly harden my arteries, depress by life, and eat my brain."
If a smoker, "fill my world with ash, cover me in that old familiar stench, and let morning again be for coughing." If you vaped, "let me spend the balance of life justifying it, all the missing money, dry hits, and pretending its safe and a hobby. If an oral user, "take my hair, destroy my teeth, and put sores back into my mouth."[1]
"Put me back behind bars, make me an outcast, throw away the key and let me die with my master still circulating in my veins." "I accept my fate" "I'm ready to surrender!"
It's far easier for the junkie mind to create a one puff, dip or chew exception to the "law" than to admit the truth.
Instead of picturing just one or once, picture all of them. Try to imagine fitting them into your mouth all at once. Because day after day, month after month, year after year after year, that's exactly where they'll be going.
"To thine own self be true." You navigated recovery. You paid the price and deserve the truth!
If you find yourself attempting to rewrite the Law, stop, think, remember, reflect, read, revisit, revive, and give to others. But most important, be honest with you!
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