Over the years we've heard nearly every relapse justification imaginable. Some relate extremely horrific and brutal life situations and then put their back against the wall as if daring you to tell them that their nicotine use and relapse wasn't justified.
Guess what? Again, there's absolutely no legitimate justification for relapse. None, zilch!
As Joel puts it, we understand why the person failed. They "violated the Law of Addiction, used nicotine, and are paying the mandatory penalty - relapse. We also know that any excuse that the person is attempting to give for having re-awakened an active chemical dependency is total nonsense. There is no acceptable reason for relapse."[1]
Don't expect any serious support group or competent nicotine dependency recovery counselor to allow relapse excuses to stand unchallenged. They can't, as silence is a teacher too. Here, a deadly one.
It's "like someone standing on a ledge of a building," writes Joel. "Do you want the people standing on the ground giving the person on the ledge reasons not to jump, or after listening to all the woes in the individual's life saying, 'Gosh, I understand what you are saying.' 'I feel that way too.' 'I guess if I were in your shoes I would jump too.' 'Don't feel guilty, though, we understand.'"
"I don't want this statement to be read like a mockery of those attempting to offer help," says Joel. "I am trying to illustrate an important point. Obviously, if the person on the ledge jumps he or she will die. But understand, that if a person relapses and doesn't quit, he or she is likely to face the same fate, just time delayed."
"Yes, if you saw a person on a ledge you would try to use empathy to coax him or her back. But, empathy would be in the form of explaining that you understand his or her plight but totally disapprove of his or her current tactic for dealing with it. There are better ways to resolve these problems than committing suicide."
"You may understand the feelings the person had. You may have even felt them at some point yourself. But you don't give into the feeling," writes Joel.
We are nicotine addicts: real, live honest to goodness drug addicts. If we were all heroin addicts sticking needles into our arms, when one of us relapsed and started again injecting heroin into their veins, would the rest of us pat them on the back and tell them that "it's ok"?
Would we tell them "don't worry about it," "it's just a little slip, nothing big" "you just keep slipping and we'll just keep hugging you each time you come back." "Hey, we all slip every once in a while, it's just part of life," that "it's no big deal"?
No big deal? Surrendering control of your #1 priority to an external chemical is a big, big deal.
The smoker waiting for the sky to fall while committing slow-motion suicide is massive. And how many e-cig users -- health risk guinea pigs inhaling 5,000+ different juice cocktails from hundreds of different devices, each combo having its own unique risks profile -- remain clueless as to what's coming?
It's my hope and prayer that you too develop a deep-rooted belief that there is no legitimate justification for relapse. To hopefully drive the point home, let's review and put to bed justifications commonly used.
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