More Relapse Rationalizations

Recall that in Chapter 12 we reviewed eight common relapse rationalizations, with the first three detailed earlier in Chapter 4.

• "Just one" or "just once."
  
• "I'm unable to concentrate."
  
• "Use relieves stress and anxiety."
  
• "I'm gaining too much weight."
  
• "I need relief from stress."
  
• "Withdrawal and my symptoms will never end!"
  
• "I'm mad that I can't smoke anymore."
  
• "I don't feel any better since stopping."

Why three different chapters? Because the moment we stop, every second beyond is about relapse prevention.

As soon as possible, at-risk newbies need awareness of the most common relapse justifications (Chapter 4). Next, we took aim at additional barriers seen within the first few weeks (Chapter 12). Here, we reflect on additional excuses that can surface at any time — including months or years into recovery.

Let’s get started.

While the relapsed addict may feel their reason for relapse was sufficient, it doesn’t explain why they continued using.

Once the initial excuse passes, a new rationalization is needed to explain continued use. The mind searches for one quickly, often without our awareness.

Relapse rarely begins with nicotine. It begins with thinking. Small permissions are granted, risks minimized, benefits exaggerated. By the time nicotine is used, the mind has already made it acceptable.[7]

"I'm just too weak to stop."[1]

This excuse ignores the fact that the person already proved otherwise. They were strong enough yesterday, and the day before. What changed was not strength — it was the introduction of nicotine.

This user would benefit from breathing renewed life into their original dreams and desires. This highlights the value of journaling them while still vivid and emotionally potent.

During their next recovery, they must master not only placing those dreams in the driver’s seat of their mind, but keeping them there — especially during challenges. Revisiting the crave-coping techniques in Chapter 11 can help them prepare for battle with additional tools.

They need to appreciate that the pride they felt before relapse can take root again within hours, as they navigate withdrawal one challenge at a time.

"Well, at least I tried."[2]

As Joel notes, chalking the attempt up to “experience” means little unless the user objectively evaluates what caused the relapse.

Recognizing past attempts as accomplishments rather than lessons often guarantees repetition. The real lesson is not that quitting failed — it’s that nicotine re-entered the bloodstream.

Excuses never cause relapse. Administering nicotine does.

"I know I will stop again."[3]

This rationalization postpones responsibility by promising future success. But what if the motivation never returns? What if there isn’t time?

Continuing use silently progresses damage. Plaque builds. Arteries narrow. Risks rise. Addiction doesn’t pause while we plan.

Nicotine can briefly quiet the discomfort it helped create, which makes it feel like relief. But that relief is temporary and always followed by the return of need. The brain tends to remember the short calm and forget the cycle that caused it. Seeing that pattern clearly helps keep the decision grounded in reality instead of illusion.[8]

If motivation is sufficient now and the cause of relapse understood, what are they waiting for?

Often, they’re waiting because a new rationalization has already formed — one that makes continued use feel temporarily reasonable.

"I've tried everything to stop and nothing works."

Joel tells of a clinic participant named Barbara. She preferred another clinic, even though she never stopped using after attending it. Why? Because when it ended, she didn’t feel bad about smoking.

This illustrates a crucial point: programs and products may change how we feel, but only the absence of nicotine changes addiction.[4]

Many say they’ve already tried cold turkey. What they often mean is they tried uneducated abrupt cessation.

Education — smart turkey — doesn’t replace recovery. It makes recovery possible.

Knowledge cannot take credit for being used nor blame for being ignored. Unlike products, this book cannot endure a single challenge for any reader.

Credit for victory will always be theirs. Responsibility for reintroducing nicotine will be theirs too.

"Maybe I'm different."[5]
"Maybe I can't quit."[6]

Relapse after relapse can make anyone feel uniquely doomed. I once believed that too. After many failed attempts, I surrendered to the idea I would die addicted.

What I didn’t realize was that each battle had been fought in ignorance. I swung blindly at an unseen opponent.

I hadn’t brought my greatest weapon to the battlefield — my intelligence.

I complicated recovery with hunger, caffeine doubling, anxiety, and misplaced rewards like celebrating three days nicotine-free with a cigarette.

I was confused by nicotine itself. Was it medicine or the cause of addiction? How could I discover the Law of Addiction while being told nicotine was treatment?

Was I weaker than the hundreds of millions who had stopped? Was I different?

No. None of us are different when nicotine enters the brain. As Joel notes, it’s impossible to locate a relapse where nicotine was not introduced first.

More Excuses Coming

Life guarantees a steady supply of excuses for anyone seeking them.

People we love will become ill, suffer, and die. Relationships will change. Promises will break. Jobs will be lost. Costs will rise. Storms will come. Wars will rage. Life never stops delivering reasons to use.

But freedom’s promise is absolute. Relapse is impossible so long as nicotine remains outside.

We each hold a 100 percent guarantee of remaining free today — so long as nicotine stays on the outside.