No need to apologize for not posting for a while
Special note: This video is geared at members of the Freedom from Nicotine message board.
Video explains how we don't want members to feel embarrassed for not having posted in a long time and that in fact, no member should ever feel that we have any kind of requirement for having to post at all. At the same time, I want all members to know that it is still advisable for them to come it to read every now and then to help them to sustain their resolve over the long-term. The following resources address these issues:
Commentary from Freedom from Nicotine board:
I often see where a longer term member comes in to make a new post and starts out by apologizing for not having posted in a long time. Actually, the vast majority of our successful quitters don't post all that often. If every member who doesn't post too often were all of a sudden to drop on in and apologize the board would be totally flooded. We'd look like one big sorry board.
We often see where a person is celebrating turning silver or gold or off multiple years who drop in and say, "I don't post much anymore but I still drop by and read regularly. Spending time reading is probably more likely to help a person secure his or her quit than posting. When it comes down to it, our real wish is for each individual here is to keep his or her own quit secure.
All members should always know that while their posts are appreciated they are not mandated. We don't want anyone ever feeling a sense of guilt for using our site. If you are coming here to read to secure your own quit you are making us all happy, even if we never hear about it.
Now there are people who are long-term quitters who are in fact frequent posters. We really appreciate all of the work and help of these people who do stick around. You can tell from the posts of these people that they are well beyond the point of feeling insecure about their own quits. They know not to get complacent and they do want to help. If a person has the time and desire to be there for others they are great assets to our board. But for people whose time might be limited, we want them to put their time into securing their own quits more than trying to secure others.
There is one thing that makes our goal a little different than many Internet based sites. We don't want people to sacrifice time from other areas of their lives and getting hooked on the board. (See Crutches to Quit Smoking and Freedom – your journey to comfort – a highly focused forum ) In the beginning few days this is common, where new members really do spend an inordinate amount of time reading and learning and trying to strengthen their resolve. This is during the time period when many people do find their lives centered around not smoking. Over time though, life should not need to be centered around not smoking, it should be centered around living your life. Being really successful means that you have developed the ability of being with family, friends, doing your job, and meeting your normal day to day demands without constantly thinking about smoking or about quitting.
Over the long-term not smoking should still be looked at as a big deal and a major accomplishment but you shouldn't have to spend more than a few minutes on any given day reminding yourself of this fact. (see "I will not smoke today" and One day at a time. We don't want new members or people first looking at our site who are just considering quitting to think that quitting smoking is going to be a major time commitment or something that is going to consume the rest of their lives. Quitting smoking is going to buy you lots of time and allow you the ability to live your life to the fullest.
We know not everyone has time to stop by and write everyday. Some people don't have time to write every week or even every month. But do try to find the time to stop by and read every once in a while. Taking a few minutes to read can help to secure your quit. Securing your quit can help to buy you years and maybe even decades of extra time of a healthier and higher quality life. Make a point of stopping by every now and then to to read and strengthen your commitment and resolve to never take another puff!
- Getting on with the rest of your life after quitting smoking
- Come share your strength, come recognize your vulnerabilities
- "I'll come for reinforcement when I need it"
- "The only time I think of smoking is when I get one of your stupid letters"