The Smoker's Memorial
~ Page Nine ~

I lost my Mother to smoking. She smoked for 40+ years. She was diagnosed with stage 4 rectal cancer that metastasized to her lungs and liver. She never gave up smoking even while in treatment. She died 12-19-08. I vowed to quit smoking myself. I quit Cold Turkey Jan 29. The pain of losing you mother and Best friend is a pain I never want to inflict on my own Sweet daughters.

Theresia Bethke

I miss my mom so much. We smoked together. That was our thing. Now she is dead, gone forever, forever; from smoking. I continue to smoke. A closet smoker. I have two daughters now, that she has never met. They are going to feel the way I feel. Hating my Mom that she chose cigarettes over me. Desperately needing my Mom. Desperately missing my Mom.

Julia

Can I add someone to your list? The father of my two kids, 41 year-old David Page. He died of aortic dissection ... his aorta blew apart. High blood pressure and 3 packs-a-day. He left two daughters, ages 12 and 14.

Kelli Page

I had grown up with a mom and dad who smoked all my life. In 2007 I watched my dad die from smoking. He had throat cancer and had to have surgery to have a hole in his throat. Just so he could talk he used a device to make words more clear so you could understand him. His eating time was hard too. He was fed by a tube in his stomach. He caughed, gaged and hacked all the time. It was sad watching him die hour by hour.

I have NEVER even tried smoking nor will i EVER. Hate it more then anything. I met my wife of 24 years who did NOT smoke either, boy was I happy. We have divorced now but I still love her as my great friend.

I met a new girl who is my best friend and girlfriend. She has tried to stop smoking several times with no permanent quit. Patches, mints, gum, vapes all to which her craving has beat. She had a stroke a few years ago so I am concerned for her health, period. I want her to quit very soon for good. I know it has to be on her terms and when she is ready. I really love her but hate the fact that she doesn't care about her health or the fact that her bf doesn't like it.

She tries to not do it in front of me. I will wait to see if she can do this on her own, I hope otherwise and will ask if she needs help. I offered before to get her help. I just cant deal or live with the smoking very much longer. I watched dad die, I dont wanna watch my girlfriend follow the same path. I don't want to put a time on it, but I feel I have to be firm or who knows when she will be ready, if ever. I love her alot. Thanks for sharing.

Mark

My cousin smoked since he was 7 (because his dad made him smoke) and by the time he was 13 he was smoking 30+ but he managed to quit for a year but he mixed with the wrong group of people and started again.

By the time he was 31 he was smoking 100 a day but he cut down to 40 a day and he died from lung cancer at 64.

Last time I saw him he was in hospital. His face was pale and his eyes were closed but he opened them, looked at me and said, "I will see you in heaven and I will be with you watching you" til he finally died.

R.I.P Nathan Smith 1949-2013 you will be missed dearly.

Emily

I am an ex-smoker and I can't believe how interesting Joel's videos are. I lost two parents to smoking related diseases (prostate cancer, dad, 57) and mom, (breast cancer, age 74 after she quit finally). I also suspect that my brother's death at age 28 from Leukemia might be related to second hand smoke, among other factors.

I am so glad I quit in my 20's and it wasn't on the first attempt and all tries were cold turkey. Luckily I got older and in situations where no one smoked and I was shamed out of it by my peers.

I have a neighbor who lives nearby that never smoked in his life, yet got lung cancer and luckily lived, although 1/3rd of his lung was removed. He told me that his dad, now long dead, smoked 3 packs a day. That is why I now suspect my brother's Leukemia had some sort of second-hand smoke cause.

My favorite video was about the smoker who was "down" to 5 packs a day from 7. That just blew my mind away. My dad smoked one pack a day, and died younger than my mom, whom he told me smoked two packs a day. She suffered chronic bronchitis more than once when I was growing up, but still managed to outlive my dad somehow. Salems, I know them well. They were always in the house. Even if we were out of food, the cigarettes existed and it did not matter what other bills were due. The cigs, always had money for them and we were poor.

Dan

Doug was a force of nature, a renaissance man, humble and dedicated to service. Ironically, he was a substance abuse counselor. He died of bladder cancer - directly attributable to smoking.

The cancer was in the lining of his bladder, so they performed a urostomy. He also had chemo and other treatment. Always studious, he told me his research on the topic revealed that 75% of people diagnosed defer treatment in favor of a term, however brief, of quality of life.

He updated his wardrobe to accommodate his urostomy bag and continued on. He attended chemo and other treatment and went directly to work afterward. When the cancer reappeared, he again pursued chemotherapy - likely at the urging of his family. His condition quickly deteriorated and chemo was no longer a option. He left his home on New Year's Day 2012 for an ambulatory supported living environment. He lost his ability to walk a day or so before his death. He greeted friends for the final time on March 14th and died on March 15, 2012.

I have never met an individual who personified the word "acceptance" more than Doug.

I didn't believe that smoking could be a direct cause, until I met a young man who survived bladder cancer. Apparently, it is a fact.

This year, at the age of 63 I was diagnosed with HPV (human papilloma virus). The particular type I have causes cervical cancer. The likelihood that I will develop cervical cancer is increased 31 to 68 percent if I am exposed to smoke. My husband is a smoker.

Wishing each of us the best.

Pat

In December 1984 I was a sophomore in college. I lost one of my closest friends because she passed out at a fraternity house holding a lit cigarette. The whole fraternity house burned down and my friend was the only one who died. Others suffered mild to severe burns.

It's always haunted me because the firemen knocked on our door early the next morning and asked if we knew where she was. We didn't, but we knew something was really wrong, so in our pajamas me and my roommate ran down the street to get more information. The firemen showed us her rings so we could initially confirm that it was our friend.

It was December and time for finals. I'm sure the fraternity was excused from final or at least allowed to postpone them. We were not. I had to attend her funeral and return the same day to take an accounting final. I ended up on scholastic probation, but didn't really care.

The rest of that year was a blur. I did manage to pull myself together the following year as far as school went, but am still haunted by the way she died.

My great grandmother died of lung cancer. She was too old to treat. It was very sad to have to come to that realization. It was very hard on my dad. She had quit smoking many years earlier, but I guess the damage was already done.

Now my 25 year old son smokes. He hides it, but it is not something you can hide very easily. Many millenials live for now and don't consider long term consequences. He thinks he needs to smoke to take the edge off - and he thinks it's better than other things that have gotten him in trouble in the past.

I've told him how I feel, but of course it's all about how he feels. This breaks my heart. Why can't he see? Why doesn't he care? There is also another person we know that is dying from lung cancer that has spread. We see this person almost every week. Just why!?!

Why doesn't he care more about his appearance, but more importantly why doesn't he care about his health and living a long life?!?

Desperate

RW

I lost my father in May of this year to metastatic lung cancer. Sadly, he had quit smoking 15 years earlier. The last time I saw him, he was a shell of himself and the final words and said as I hugged him goodbye were "see you on the other side baby." I will ALWAYS miss him and there is a special kind of pain watching a loved one slowly die from cancer.

I, myself, quit smoking almost 2 years ago. Please don't start, and if you are trying to quit, remember there are much worse things than a few days of withdrawl.

Rest In Peace
Jim Heusi
January 25, 1949- May 8, 2015

Love your daughter,

Jenna

I quit smoking 100 days ago, just a week before my mother died for lung cancer. She smoked for more than 40 years and died when she was 70.

On November 3, 2014, she came home from work and started vomiting. On November 26, 2014 she was diagnosed with lung cancer. On December 15, 2014 she died in a hospital bed.

Just few days before dying she said very proudly: "I quit smoking" :D

I smoked for 22 years. Now I'm 37 and I will never smoke again.

Bye bye mom, I love you.

Dario