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The Smoker's Memorial

Here, we memorialize, remember and pay tribute to wonderful lives cut short by chemical dependency upon smoked nicotine. May remembrance of our friends and loved ones inspire youth to not start, smokers to stop, and quitters to better appreciate the importance of staying clean and free today.

Share your memorial remembrance of a friend or loved one. Although not necessary, feel free to include a picture if so inclined. If you would like your e-mail address shared as a link beneath your name, so that smokers, quitters and journalists can contact you directly, please include the email address you want shared.


Memorial Pages

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Our Remembrances

#97 - 08/07/23

Hi John this is Chandan. I'm a 28-year-old boy from India. I lost my grandma due to cancer 4 years ago. She was a smoking addict although she quit smoking 2-3 years before she was diagnosed with cancer. But the reason behind her death was her smoking addiction.

MISS YOU GRANDMA 😞

 

#96 - 06/19/19

Just wanted to share my personal experiences on how smoking has ruined the lives of some of my friends and family.

One of my co-workers passed away in December 2018 from cancer. She was only 52 years-old. She found out she had stage 4 cancer about 2-3 weeks before she passed. She was an extremely sweet woman who was always in a good mood and had a HUGE laugh. Her name was Sue. I'm 42 years old and started smoking at 14 but Sue's tragic death has helped me in my decision to quit finally.

My father was also a smoker and had a massive stroke while smoking a cigarette one night many years ago. Unfortunately, he passed away 3 weeks later. I also have a friend who has been a lifelong smoker that was diagnosed with COPD. She can't seem to kick the habit though. I decided I didn't want my future to look like any of these stories and quit cold turkey. It hasn't been the easiest at times but I know it will be well worth it in the end.

Thanks!
Kim

 

#95 - 04/27/19

I quit fully around a month ago. I'm 58 and have been smoking since I was 15. I lost both my parents to smoking, my mom 3 years ago to copd and this last January my dad from clogged arteries in his neck, which brought on dementia, which he suffered with for the last 10 years. I have a aunt who lost a leg to smoking and a cousin who had a lung transplant. She had COPD from smoking. I knew I needed to do this for my grandchildren.

Deborah Windish

 

#94 - 12/11/18

My mother died in March 2011 from COPD. She had started smoking after she had her first child at seventeen. Our father had brought the cigarettes home and told her he was told it was a good way to lose the extra weight she had gained from being pregnant. She smoked almost 50 years before she quit. Full time oxygen tanks in the house made her fear she would accidentally blow up the house. So at age 68, Mom stopped smoking cold turkey.

Out of four children, I was the only one to pick up the nasty smoking habit. I remember hating it as a kid. My clothes , hair, and coats smelled like smoke. I used to “swear I’m never going to smoke.”

As of today, I haven’t smoked in 15 days after a lifelong sentence to them. I quit cold turkey because I am tired of coughing, stinking, and avoiding people and places because I can’t smoke there. It’s been a struggle because I began ingesting nicotine before I was born. My mother smoked during her last three pregnancies. I weighed 3 pounds 12 ounces when I was born full term. I inhaled secondhand smoke from both parents in the house, in the car, everywhere. While I was growing up adults smoked anywhere they wanted. (e.g. hospitals, classrooms)

Dad was able to quit smoking at age 53 when the doctor diagnosed him with emphysema. He is 82, struggles to breathe when it is hot outside, but is able to have a good quality of life. He has lived 10 years longer than Mom did. She died when she was 72. He misses her every day. We all do.

It snuck up on me. All the years wasted being shackled to a drug that slowly kills. One day at a time. Every day since I quit I am thankful and try to talk myself out of it within the same minute. Moment to moment I wrestle against my own self destructive thoughts. The WhyQuit website has been a Godsend to me. I visit it every day, several times a day, to continue reprogramming myself as a non-smoker.

Marguerita Pearce

 

#93 - 09/10/18

My mother started smoking as a teen. Back in the 50's there were no warnings, her father smoked. She enjoyed it. My mother must've been one of those people for whom it is very physically addictive.

In the fall of 2014, she was feeling ill, back pain, weight loss, and more chest congestion than her usual 'smoker's cough'. During the holidays she barely got off the couch. She saw her doctor in January of 2015. She was prescribed antibiotics for a pneumonia/bronchitis type diagnosis. After a few rounds of antibiotics failed her, she grudgingly went for more testing. In March we got the diagnosis of NSCLC (non small cell lung cancer).

She began with radiation and then chemotherapy. It was awful to watch what it all did to her and to hear her talk about her prognosis and when she might die. In October she was tested for a new immunotherapy drug, and found to be an excellent candidate. She got the drug but unfortunately it was much too late for her. A week or two later she called 911 because despite the c-pap she was unable to breathe. She died on November 4 of 2015.

Days before she passed she wept as she told me how sorry she was. I knew that she was sorry for smoking. Sorry for what she did to herself, and sorry for leaving us too soon. For widowing my father who has a host of health issues (a heart attack from smoking back in the early 70's which lead him to a stroke, afib, CHF).

I told her she had nothing to be sorry for. I wanted my mother to die in peace. We are coming up on the 3rd anniversary of her death, and though I don't want to be this way, I am still so angry that my grief has been complicated. I feel like anger is in the way of grief and I wonder if I'll ever get beyond this phase.

If you smoke, you know what you are doing to yourself and your body. Please take a minute to think about the anger that your survivors may feel and the difficulty they may face at trying to move beyond anger and somehow find acceptance. The pain is raw and I don't know if it will ever go away.

I miss you Mom, and I love you. I don't want to be angry anymore.

Mary Parrish

 

#92 - 06/22/17

Dad always told me that no family members had ever been diagnosed with any cancer as far back as he could remember. He always boasted about our family's longevity and salubrious history. I grew up watching him smoke a pack a day, and despite all the anti-smoking fervor I experienced in school, I too became a smoker at the ripe old age of 16.

He decided that he had to quit after a doctor's visit. The doctor had him compare the x-ray of his lungs from that day and one from five years before. The change was dramatic, and the doctor told him to quit or get emphysema soon after. He did quit for many years, except for the occasional one he grabbed from me. When he smoked a cigarette after abstaining for years, he invariably complained about weakness, dizziness, and just feeling plain gross. Also, he never overcame his nicotine gum addiction. Twenty years of chewing the gum did damage to his teeth, healing ability, and immune system. Even with all that damage, nicotine gum was the last thing he requested before dying. He had conquered the smoking part, but never quit completely.

As time went on, our "cancer-free" family tree finally ended once multiple tumors were found in his lungs and brain in November, 2016. My Dad wasn't able to meet his Grandson because of his nicotine addiction and was taken at 71. After nearly 20 years of non-smoking, his past life as a smoker caught up with him in a nasty and aggressive way. One month after being diagnosed, he passed away in hospice care. Now that I am a non-smoker under forty, I like to tell myself that I am in the clear. Hopefully, keeping that in mind can keep me smoke-free for the rest of my life.

R.I.P. Dad,

Harrison Witt

 

#91 - 02/17/17

I smoked a pack a day for 28 years. I quit smoking cold turkey on May 23, 2015. This day was the day of my brother's funeral. He was 60 years old and died suddenly in his sleep from a heart attack caused by smoking cigarettes. He missed out seeing his first grandson who was born two weeks after his death. He missed out on the fun things he planned to do after he was going to retire in two years. He missed out on spending wonderful times with the woman he loved. He missed out on celebrating holidays with his family. His life was cut way short because he was addicted to Marlboros.

When I saw his casket being lowered into the ground, I lost every single ounce of desire for a cigarette. I quit cold turkey without any cravings or thoughts of cigarettes anymore. I did not have withdrawal symptoms, or if I did, I didn't notice them because my heart was broken and grieving desperately for my only brother who laid six feet under ground.

Cigarettes can and will kill you. Sometimes you die slowly, sometimes you die quickly, it all depends on what disease you get from smoking. It took a heart wrenching horrific tragedy to open my eyes. Don't wait until it's too late, quit smoking today and embrace life to the fullest without lethal cigarettes in your system. You can do it.

Maureen Whiting

 

#90 - 02/13/17

I lost my Mother to smoking. She smoked for 40+ years. She was diagnosed with stage 4 rectal cancer that metastasized to her lungs and liver. She never gave up smoking even while in treatment. She died 12-19-08. I vowed to quit smoking myself. I quit Cold Turkey Jan 29. The pain of losing you mother and Best friend is a pain I never want to inflict on my own Sweet daughters.

Theresia Bethke

 

#89 - 02/03/17

I miss my mom so much. We smoked together. That was our thing. Now she is dead, gone forever, forever; from smoking. I continue to smoke. A closet smoker. I have two daughters now, that she has never met. They are going to feel the way I feel. Hating my Mom that she chose cigarettes over me. Desperately needing my Mom. Desperately missing my Mom.

Julia

 

#88 - 12/02/16

David Page: click to enlargeCan I add someone to your list? The father of my two kids, 41 year-old David Page. He died of aortic dissection ... his aorta blew apart. High blood pressure and 3 packs-a-day. He left two daughters, ages 12 and 14.

Kelli Page

 

#87 - 08/10/16

I had grown up with a mom and dad who smoked all my life. In 2007 I watched my dad die from smoking. He had throat cancer and had to have surgery to have a hole in his throat. Just so he could talk he used a device to make words more clear so you could understand him. His eating time was hard too. He was fed by a tube in his stomach. He caughed, gaged and hacked all the time. It was sad watching him die hour by hour.

I have NEVER even tried smoking nor will i EVER. Hate it more then anything. I met my wife of 24 years who did NOT smoke either, boy was I happy. We have divorced now but I still love her as my great friend.

I met a new girl who is my best friend and girlfriend. She has tried to stop smoking several times with no permanent quit. Patches, mints, gum, vapes all to which her craving has beat. She had a stroke a few years ago so I am concerned for her health, period. I want her to quit very soon for good. I know it has to be on her terms and when she is ready. I really love her but hate the fact that she doesn't care about her health or the fact that her bf doesn't like it.

She tries to not do it in front of me. I will wait to see if she can do this on her own, I hope otherwise and will ask if she needs help. I offered before to get her help. I just cant deal or live with the smoking very much longer. I watched dad die, I dont wanna watch my girlfriend follow the same path. I don't want to put a time on it, but I feel I have to be firm or who knows when she will be ready, if ever. I love her alot. Thanks for sharing.

Mark

 

#86 - 06/17/16

My cousin smoked since he was 7 (because his dad made him smoke) and by the time he was 13 he was smoking 30+ but he managed to quit for a year but he mixed with the wrong group of people and started again.

By the time he was 31 he was smoking 100 a day but he cut down to 40 a day and he died from lung cancer at 64.

Last time I saw him he was in hospital. His face was pale and his eyes were closed but he opened them, looked at me and said, "I will see you in heaven and I will be with you watching you" til he finally died.

R.I.P Nathan Smith 1949-2013 you will be missed dearly.

Emily

 

#85 - 06/15/16

I am an ex-smoker and I can't believe how interesting Joel's videos are. I lost two parents to smoking related diseases (prostate cancer, dad, 57) and mom, (breast cancer, age 74 after she quit finally). I also suspect that my brother's death at age 28 from Leukemia might be related to second hand smoke, among other factors.

I am so glad I quit in my 20's and it wasn't on the first attempt and all tries were cold turkey. Luckily I got older and in situations where no one smoked and I was shamed out of it by my peers.

I have a neighbor who lives nearby that never smoked in his life, yet got lung cancer and luckily lived, although 1/3rd of his lung was removed. He told me that his dad, now long dead, smoked 3 packs a day. That is why I now suspect my brother's Leukemia had some sort of second-hand smoke cause.

My favorite video was about the smoker who was "down" to 5 packs a day from 7. That just blew my mind away. My dad smoked one pack a day, and died younger than my mom, whom he told me smoked two packs a day. She suffered chronic bronchitis more than once when I was growing up, but still managed to outlive my dad somehow. Salems, I know them well. They were always in the house. Even if we were out of food, the cigarettes existed and it did not matter what other bills were due. The cigs, always had money for them and we were poor.

Dan

 

#84 - 06/07/16

Doug was a force of nature, a renaissance man, humble and dedicated to service. Ironically, he was a substance abuse counselor. He died of bladder cancer - directly attributable to smoking.

The cancer was in the lining of his bladder, so they performed a urostomy. He also had chemo and other treatment. Always studious, he told me his research on the topic revealed that 75% of people diagnosed defer treatment in favor of a term, however brief, of quality of life.

He updated his wardrobe to accommodate his urostomy bag and continued on. He attended chemo and other treatment and went directly to work afterward. When the cancer reappeared, he again pursued chemotherapy - likely at the urging of his family. His condition quickly deteriorated and chemo was no longer a option. He left his home on New Year's Day 2012 for an ambulatory supported living environment. He lost his ability to walk a day or so before his death. He greeted friends for the final time on March 14th and died on March 15, 2012.

I have never met an individual who personified the word "acceptance" more than Doug.

I didn't believe that smoking could be a direct cause, until I met a young man who survived bladder cancer. Apparently, it is a fact.

This year, at the age of 63 I was diagnosed with HPV (human papilloma virus). The particular type I have causes cervical cancer. The likelihood that I will develop cervical cancer is increased 31 to 68 percent if I am exposed to smoke. My husband is a smoker.

Wishing each of us the best.

Pat

 

#83 - 02/05/16

In December 1984 I was a sophomore in college. I lost one of my closest friends because she passed out at a fraternity house holding a lit cigarette. The whole fraternity house burned down and my friend was the only one who died. Others suffered mild to severe burns.

It's always haunted me because the firemen knocked on our door early the next morning and asked if we knew where she was. We didn't, but we knew something was really wrong, so in our pajamas me and my roommate ran down the street to get more information. The firemen showed us her rings so we could initially confirm that it was our friend.

It was December and time for finals. I'm sure the fraternity was excused from final or at least allowed to postpone them. We were not. I had to attend her funeral and return the same day to take an accounting final. I ended up on scholastic probation, but didn't really care.

The rest of that year was a blur. I did manage to pull myself together the following year as far as school went, but am still haunted by the way she died.

My great grandmother died of lung cancer. She was too old to treat. It was very sad to have to come to that realization. It was very hard on my dad. She had quit smoking many years earlier, but I guess the damage was already done.

Now my 25 year old son smokes. He hides it, but it is not something you can hide very easily. Many millenials live for now and don't consider long term consequences. He thinks he needs to smoke to take the edge off - and he thinks it's better than other things that have gotten him in trouble in the past.

I've told him how I feel, but of course it's all about how he feels. This breaks my heart. Why can't he see? Why doesn't he care? There is also another person we know that is dying from lung cancer that has spread. We see this person almost every week. Just why!?!

Why doesn't he care more about his appearance, but more importantly why doesn't he care about his health and living a long life?!?

Desperate

RW

 

#82 - 07/11/15

Photo of Jim Heusi with his arm around his daughter Jenna.I lost my father in May of this year to metastatic lung cancer. Sadly, he had quit smoking 15 years earlier. The last time I saw him, he was a shell of himself and the final words and said as I hugged him goodbye were "see you on the other side baby." I will ALWAYS miss him and there is a special kind of pain watching a loved one slowly die from cancer.

I, myself, quit smoking almost 2 years ago. Please don't start, and if you are trying to quit, remember there are much worse things than a few days of withdrawl.

Rest In Peace
Jim Heusi
January 25, 1949- May 8, 2015

Love your daughter,

Jenna

 

#81 - 03/17/15

I quit smoking 100 days ago, just a week before my mother died for lung cancer. She smoked for more than 40 years and died when she was 70.

On November 3, 2014, she came home from work and started vomiting. On November 26, 2014 she was diagnosed with lung cancer. On December 15, 2014 she died in a hospital bed.

Just few days before dying she said very proudly: "I quit smoking" :D

I smoked for 22 years. Now I'm 37 and I will never smoke again.

Bye bye mom, I love you.

Dario

 

#80 - 12/08/14

I quit smoking since 10/09/10, the day my dad died so suddenly by heart attack at age 61. I was 26. He left this world without any notice and somehow I felt angry and abandoned because he could have quit, he could have done something to stop from smoking two packs of cigarettes per day. The doctor said that his lungs were black and useless and that basically he committed suicide. I quit smoking since then because I don't want smoking to be my cause of death!

I will always remember the day that my dad died as the day that saved my life.

Thank you dad, I am thinking of you every second.

GC

 

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